Houston Texans is kind of a weird team name, isn’t it? I can’t think of any other team that follows the City Name-State Name formula.
That’d be like an NFL team named the New Orleans Louisianans or Cincinnati Ohioans. Sure, “Texans” has a better ring to it. But still, pretty strange.
These Houston Texans fantasy football names celebrate the good, the bad, and the weird of football in the Lonestar state.
Houston Texans Fantasy Team Names for 2023
The Texans franchise is still trying to get back some sense of normalcy after the last few years. Some franchise cornerstones departed on their own, and some were, shall we say, rubbed out.
No, on second thought we probably shouldn’t say that. But at least Deshaun Watson is someone else’s problem now.
I love this Texans fantasy team name. It’s wholesome, optimistic, and yet still a very stupid pun.
Don’t text and drive, do Texan Drive.
Kiss the Cook
Cookin’ With Gas
Our Neck of Texas
Because have you seen Davis Mills’ neck?
We’ve got even more Davis Mills fantasy team names down below.
Return of the Mack
Marlon Mack had put together consecutive solid fantasy seasons before his Achilles came calling. Can he possibly return to lead back status in Houston?
The Metchie and Scratchy Show
Hou and Cry
This Houston Texans fantasy football team name is both classic fancy talk and an apt description of too many Texans games.
Houston of a Gun
Or if that’s not sassy enough for you, Hou Suck.
Houston of a B I’m Rick and Morty
Check out our Rick and Morty team names article for more squanchy name ideas.
Watter Under the Bridge
If you want more JJ Watt team names, they’re in our Cardinals team names article now. I know, it still kinda hurts.
I couldn’t resist. But if that’s your style, we have other politically incorrect fantasy football names here.
Foster, AustrArian for Beer
Getting the KubiAx
I know J.J. Watt isn’t on the Texans anymore. But maybe your heart went with him to Arizona.
Brandin Cooks Fantasy Football Team Names
Did I steal some of these from our Dalvin Cook fantasy team names article? A chef never reveals his secrets.
Brandin New Day
Too Many Cooks
Still nightmare fuel to this day.
Sunday Cook Out
Cook Line and Sinker
Cook’s in the Kitchen
Suck My Cook
Davis Mills Fantasy Team Names
Davis Mills was put in a tough spot, and he actually handled it pretty well. Here are some Davis Mills team names to pay him back for sticking it out.
License to Mills
Slide Into My DMs
The DM Slide
Lovie Smith Fantasy Team Names
It’s been a long time since we’ve seen Lovie Smith in a head coaching gig. Is he the guy to right the Texans ship, or will he come and go as fast as David Culley?
Lovie’s Country Store
Lovie’s All You Need
Lovie’s Labours Lost
I Lovie Texas
Houston Texans Fantasy Football Names from Around the Internet
So the Texans’ colors are Battle Red, Liberty White, and Deep Blue Steel. That’s right, their last color is essentially a Zoolander joke.
Also, why does every NFL team have cute names their colors? Are red, white, and blue just too basic?
Anyhow, old man rant over. Here’s one last set of Houston Texans fantasy team names.
Houston, We Have a Problem
Hou Oughta Be in Pictures
Big Mack Attack
Mack Street Boyz
Andre the Giant Johnson
Is it juvenile? Sure. As a pun, you have to admit it’s pretty solid – pun distinctly not intended.
I Love Having Rex but I’d Rather Get Burkhead
Shout out to Academy Award winners Three 6 Mafia.
Team Name Ideas for Other NFL Teams
If the Texans aren’t your team, here are some NFL team name articles for every other club.
- Patriots Fantasy Football Names
- Bills Fantasy Football Names
- Jets Fantasy Football Names
- Dolphins Fantasy Football Names
- Ravens Fantasy Football Names
- Steelers Fantasy Football Names
- Browns Fantasy Football Names
- Bengals Fantasy Football Names
- Texans Fantasy Football Names
- Titans Fantasy Football Names
- Colts Fantasy Football Names
- Jaguars Fantasy Football Names
- Eagles Fantasy Football Names
- Cowboys Fantasy Football Names
- Giants Fantasy Football Names
- Redskins Fantasy Football Names
- Packers Fantasy Football Names
- Vikings Fantasy Football Names
- Bears Fantasy Football Names
- Lions Fantasy Football Names
- Saints Fantasy Football Names
- Falcons Fantasy Football Names
- Buccaneers Fantasy Football Names
- Panthers Fantasy Football Names
More Ideas for Texans Fantasy Football Names?
Do you have a funny idea for a Houston Texans fantasy name? Tell me about it in the comments below. I’ll add the good name ideas to our list.