Texans Football Names – 2021 Team Name Ideas for Houston Fans

Updated on June 2nd, 2021 by David Sharp
Texans Fantasy Football Names

It’s still weird seeing J.J. Watt in another uniform. But it’s not nearly as weird as everything we’ve learned about Deshaun Watson’s, shall we say, massage preferences.

It might take a season or two for the franchise to get back to some sense of normalcy. Until then, why not make fun of it all with these Houston Texans fantasy football names?

Houston Texans Fantasy Football Names for 2021

Houston Texans is kind of a weird team name, isn’t it? I can’t think of any other team that follows the City Name-State Name formula.

That’d be like an NFL team named the New Orleans Louisianans or Cincinnati Ohioans. Sure, “Texans” has a better ring to it. But still, quite weird.

Texan Driving

Don’t text and drive, do Texan Drive.

Tex Me

Texedo Cat

Texedo Rental

Tex Savvy

Tex Support


Cobbled Together

HouStun Guns

Houston of a Gun

Houstunted Growth

Hou Oughta Be in Pictures

Hou and Cry

This Houston Texans fantasy football team name is both classic fancy talk and an apt description of too many Texans games.

Funny Houston Texans Fantasy Team Names

Did you know that downtown Houston is connected with a series of underground pedestrian tunnels? Pretty cool!

No, that doesn’t have anything to do with fantasy football. But it sure beats talking about massages.


I love this Texans fantasy team name. It’s wholesome, optimistic, and yet still a very stupid pun.

Texually Explicit

Texy Beasts

Hou Stink


Houston of a B I’m Rick and Morty

Check out our Rick and Morty team names article for more squanchy name ideas.

Hou Suck

Foster, AustrArian for Beer

Getting the KubiAx

Kill O’Brien

Bill O’Brien’s ability to leave a disaster in his wake rivals only my college girlfriend Jillian.

Deshaun Watson Fantasy Football Team Names

I could have made this section much, much more explicit.

Turn Down for Watson

Watson the Other Side

The WATS Team


Dehand Whackson

Run and Tug

I couldn’t resist. We have other politically incorrect fantasy football names.

J.J. Watt Fantasy Football Team Names

I know he’s not on the Texans anymore. But maybe your heart went with him to Arizona.

Watter Under the Bridge

Jay-Jay Walking

WatsOn, Watt’s Off

This Houston Texans fantasy team name works because Deshaun is still here (for now) and J.J. is gone. And also, because of Karate Kid.

Naked as a J.J. Bird

What, Watt, Watson?

I should point out that a lot of these Watt-Watson team names are interchangeable. Feel free to mix and match as you see fit.

David Johnson Fantasy Football Team Names

In the last few years, the Cardinals have pilfered both DeAndre Hopkins and J.J. Watt from the Texans. But getting D.J. back from Arizona kind of evens things out, right? Right? RIGHT?!?

Ok, maybe not.

If you’re a Texans fan, but you’re still chasing Hopkins around in fantasy, check out our article dedicated entirely to DeAndre Hopkins fantasy names.

The Statue of David Johnson

You can also do The Statue of David’s Johnson if that’s more you’re cup of espresso.

Deej Your Heart Out

To Deej His Own

Johnson and Johnson

The Texans have both David Johnson and Duke Johnson, so this Texans fantasy team name will work (at least this year). Although, both players have struggled recently.

I guess you could say that this is their one shot to re-establish their value.

DJ Football

Maybe it’s just me, but I think the idea of a D.J. named D.J. Football is amusing. He’d wear a Daft Punk-style football helmet and spin jock jams. So this Texans fantasy football name sorta wrote itself.

Brandin Cooks Fantasy Football Team Names

Did I steal some of these from our Dalvin Cook fantasy team names article? A chef never reveals his secrets.

Brandin Management

Brandin New Day

Brandin Iron

Cookin’ With Gas

Sunday Cook Out

Cook Line and Sinker

Cook’s in the Kitchen

Kiss the Cook

Suck My Cook

David Culley Fantasy Team Names

Some people thought the David Culley pick was a little boring. After years of Bill O’Brien sending out every franchise icon he could find, maybe boring is good?

Mulder and Culley

Hitchcock and Cully

Culley and Bones

Culley Cap

The Cullying

DC United Football

Fantasy Football Team Names from Around the Internet

So the Texans colors are Battle Red, Liberty White, and Deep Blue Steel. That’s right, their last color is essentially a Zoolander joke.

Also, why does every NFL team have cute names their colors? Are red, white, and blue just too basic? Anyhow, old man rant over. Here’s one last set of Houston Texans fantasy names.

Houston, We Have a Problem

Deshaun of the Dead

Watson Your Wallet

It’s Always Darkest Before Deshaun

Elementary, My Dear Watson

Watson Your Mind

Cobb Salad

Watt Me Whip, Watt Me JJ

Watt More Could You Ask For?

Andre the Giant Johnson

Is it juvenile? Sure. As a pun, you have to admit it’s pretty solid – pun distinctly not intended.

Team Name Ideas for Other NFL Teams

If the Texans aren’t your team, here are some NFL team name articles for every other club.

More Ideas for Texans Fantasy Football Names?

Do you have a funny idea for a Houston Texans fantasy name? Tell me about it in the comments below. I’ll add the good name ideas to our list.

About the author

David Sharp

David Sharp is a writer, performer, and father living in Los Angeles, California. His work has appeared on Rox Pile, Ranker, The Whiskey Journal, Retro Set and elsewhere across the internet. Follow him on Instagram or Twitter to see fresh pictures of his handsome baby: @TheSharpDavid

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