It’s impressive how far hockey has come, literally. It wasn’t that long ago that hockey was the province of the provinces, Scandanavia, and some other select, super-cold cities.
Now, southern cities like Tampa Bay are winning Stanley Cups. Youth enrollment’s up, even in deserts like Phoenix or LA.
With this influx of players, we will need some all-new hockey team names. So let’s go top shelf with our best twisted wristers.
Hockey Team Names for 2022
Did you hear about the hockey player that retired and became an accountant? He got an off-ice job.
See, it’s funny because it’s an office job that’s off the ice.
Well anyway, here’s more of that type of sophisticated, intellectual humor. It’s our best hockey team names for 2022.
I know I used both of these phrases in the intro. But they make pretty good hockey team names too.
The Thicc Blue Line
Checkers and Chips
For this hockey team name, you could also go with Bronze Knights, Lead Knights, or any metal less precious than gold.
H. E. Double Hockey Sticks
Icing the Win
This hockey team name can be adjusted with any synonym for victory: Icing the Championship, Icing the Chip, etc.
Bring Your Eh Game
Nothing but Net
This hockey team name also moonlights as a legit basketball team name.
Funny Hockey Team Names from Movies and TV
Hockey die-hards, here’s a thinker: which fictional hockey player was the best enforcer?
Fight it out amongst yourselves!
The Hanson Brothers
This funny hockey team name idea works on its own. But it’s also the base starter for a number of industry-specific ideas:
- Hanson Bros. Mortuary – We’ll lay you out cold.
- Hanson Bros. Dentistry – Service with a smile.
- Hanson Bros. Plastic Surgery – We’ll rearrange your face.
Dog River Riverdogs
Walla Walla Wombats
Blades of Glory
Ok, Blades of Glory is not technically a hockey movie. Still, it’s got skating, competition, and head trauma. That’s pretty close!
Kerry County Eagles
Beer League Hockey Team Names
Your team may not be the best hockey players, but maybe you’re the best drinkers. So get the other team drunk, then see how the best hockey drunks perform.
Oh, and please don’t hurt yourselves.
Drunk and Looking to Score
Alter this Beer League hockey name by going with Bud Lightning, Coors Lightning, or your boys’ favorite brew of choice.
This seemingly stupid hockey team name is a sophisticated three-way hockey pun.
- You’re drinking beers
- You’re a bunch of goons that like to punch
- You’re actively punching faces
This is known as a hockey team name hat trick and also makes for a punchy baseball team name.
Cool Hockey Team Name Ideas
Here are some cool ice hockey team names, no pun intended. Actually, never mind – quite a few hockey puns were intended.
Hockey enforcers are known for disrupting the peace. This could also be a cool wrestling name, but enforcers are wrestling are there to preserve the peace.
Obviously, this one works best as a Florida hockey team name. But you don’t need to be in Florida to use it.
Icing the Blues
This hockey name would also work if you’re researching racing team names. A breakout in racing (also known as a Bustout) is when a drag racer runs quicker than their dial-in time.
Hockey Stick Names
Are these names for your hockey team based on stick brands, or names for your hockey stick based on their brands? They’re whatever you want them to be, cowboy.
Beasts of the Easton
Flip Your Twig
The TPS Report
Creative Hockey Team Names Based on Players
Hockey combines the creativity and artistry of basketball with the ferocity and power of football (not to mention the coldness of sled racing and the not-being-able-to-stopness of a hydroplaning Humvee).
Beasts of the Baseline
Baseline is more of a field hockey term, but that’s close enough. Maybe this is a better tennis team name?
Moves Like Jagr
No hockey team wants to drag along an anchor. Anchors exist in eSports as well – referring to a poor player but also a defensive player whose primary role is to defend a specific space. This makes it a funny esports team name as well.
Lemieux and I
Ok, he’s not technically a hockey player. But are you going to tell Chuck Norris he doesn’t belong?
Dirty Hockey Team Names
I hope I’m not revealing any locker room secrets, but hockey players have a raunchy sense of humor. I know, I know – deeply shocking stuff.
Don Cherry Poppin’ Daddies
Big Test Icicles
This hockey team name is probably the classiest of the puck/word-that-rhymes-with-puck hockey puns. But it isn’t the only one.
Here are some of the rest:
- Puck Yourself
- Puck Off
- Mother Puckers
- Pucking Puckers
Clever Hockey Team Names for Adult Leagues
There are those that would say you’re too old to be playing hockey. And sometimes those are your knees and your back.
Mid Ice Crisis
Cease and Assist
This hockey team name could double as a clever volleyball team name.
This makes for a funny softball team name too.
A clever hockey team name idea, but also a cool soccer team name.
Floor Hockey Team Name Ideas
Roller hockey has all of the hockey action but without the insanity of keeping water in a permanently frozen state in apparent defiance of the will of nature.
Weird Hockey Team Names
Sometimes it’s the third line that scores the winning goal.
Cool sports names give awesome visuals.
Rough is an apt term for a hockey team, but this could also be a funny golf team name as well.
Net Sticks and Chill
Pins and Needles
In hockey, you can pin the puck against the boards to stop play. This team name is also a clever bowling team name.
Two Buck Puck
Queens of the Ice Age
This hockey team name idea might make more sense as a funny lacrosse team name. In lacrosse, goal mouth refers to an area in the crease where the attackman cannot land if they are doing a dive.
More Hockey Team Names from Around the Web
Let’s credit the internet with an assist.
The Mighty Pucks
The Big Chill
I like this idea for a funny football team name.
Ice Ice Baby
Back That Pass Up
Have an Original Hockey Team Name?
If you have an original hockey team name idea, tell me about it in the comments below. I’ll add the funniest hockey names to this list.